Forgiveness for the Unthinkable
If there is one thing I’ve come to realize in my almost 19 years of being a birth mom – it’s that I still struggle with forgiveness. A battle I think and feel I’ve overcome, yet still emerges from time to time as I continue to process things. Forgiveness towards both myself and others. One would presume I’d be done dealing with that this long in the journey, but for whatever reason, sometimes there’s just a hang up.
A couple months ago, I got to meet someone really special. She is definitely being used by God and following her calling. And she is a prime example of one offering forgiveness, when some might least expect it.
Meeting Claire
Her name is Claire Culwell. She radiates joy, passion, and life. A down to earth, Texas woman, who did not hesitate to come talk to me as I sat in the audience chairs surrounded by no one (partially due to an inherent trait of arriving early to functions). I have a feeling that everyone she meets is a friend. Her story is nothing short of a miracle.
The audience was gathered for an evening of listening to several people share their stories. Stories all involving abortion on some level. It was hosted by the Wisconsin Right to Life and although I don’t have much experience with these types of events or abortion itself, I felt God compelling me to go. So after some assurances from my hubby, I went and listened to three brave souls share their experiences.
One woman had an abortion herself, when she was a young adult, and there was much regret and pain in the years after, yet also healing and forgiveness. She now works with a group called Silent No More , whose “…campaign seeks to expose and heal the secrecy and silence surrounding the emotional and physical pain of abortion.”
One young man could have been a father, but was denied the chance as his significant other had an abortion without even telling him. Fresh as his pain was/is, he speaks out for those unable to. He works to protect the lives of the unborn.
Claire’s Story
And then there is Claire’s story. Here are a few highlights from her website:
In 2009, I found out I was affected by abortion. This changed my life. I had walked into the Coalition For Life wondering what their organization provided and 5 months later I met my birth mother who told me my life is a miracle.
My birth mother was 13 years old at the time she became pregnant with me. Her mother took her straight to an abortion clinic where she had a surgical abortion. After thinking she had “fixed the problem,” a few weeks later she realized her belly was still growing. Her mother took her back to the abortion clinic where she learned that she had been pregnant with twins…One was aborted; One survived.
My life is a testimony that there are wonderful alternatives to abortion (such as adoption in my case) and an accident/unwanted child still deserves life…even a child with disabilities. I was born 2 1/2 months early, weighed 3 lbs 2 oz, had dislocated hips and club feet. I had to wear casts on my feet, a harness and eventually a body cast. The abortion still affects me today. All that to say, LIFE IS STILL WORTH IT. If my life can touch 139just one person who has had an abortion or considering an abortion or adoption, then I am fulfilling my purpose in the pro-life movement.
I cannot even start to fathom the range of emotions Claire would have felt at the moment she found out how her existence came to be, the fallout the days following, and the weeks and months of processing that would take place after a revelation of that caliber.
I have followed Claire on social media for a couple years, so I was already familiar with her story. But listening to her speak in person, seeing the raw emotions cross her face, and physically feeling the forgiveness she has for her birth mother was a whole nother thing.
To put it plain and simple – Claire is an abortion survivor – and she is not the only one. There are other people who have survived various types of attempted abortion. They are the ones fighting on the front lines for pro-life movements. Their stories matter. They as people matter. All life matters.
Forgiveness Unfolds
Claire’s story and offer of forgiveness continue to unfold as her relationship with her birth mother, Tonya, deepens. Claire was just recently able to speak at an event in Nashville, bring her birth mother on stage for the first time, and watch a video of Tonya sharing her story – together! Only true forgiveness, healing, and God’s grace could unite two people like this. What an example for the rest of us!!!
I walked away with several thoughts:
1 – If Claire, whose life was initially not meant to be, can find forgiveness for those who tried to end her life, ended the life of her twin brother, and therefore eternally altered her life – surely I can work to find forgiveness and truly let the hurts go. Surely we can all take one step towards healing, reconciling, and forgiving at least one person or maybe ourselves.
2 – If you’re worried you won’t be able to do it alone, because I know I can’t – find a friend, a family member, or most importantly: reach out to the One who offers us continuous forgiveness: Jesus Christ.
3 – Abortion survivors exist! Media doesn’t seem to want people to know about them, but they are fighting to be heard. There are names and faces to go with the statistics. If this topic touches your heart, share Claire’s story. Don’t be afraid to speak out!
4 – As someone with the belief that every single life matters to God, no matter what stage of development, I should be doing more to speak out. I don’t believe this is one of those issues a Christ follower can be wishy washy, silent about, or feel unsure of how God would respond – because God values every life. No ifs, ands, or buts.
Psalm 139: 13-16 says “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.”
More Information
Here are some sites you can visit for more information on this topic:
Clarie Culwell’s website: http://www.claireculwell.com/
Claire’s Facebook page (lots of video’s speaking about her story here): https://www.facebook.com/ClaireCulwell/
The Abortion Survivor’s Network: https://theabortionsurvivors.com/
Melissa Ohden’s website (abortion survivor): https://melissaohden.com/
Abby Johnson’s website (former Planned Parenthood director, speaking out and helping others leave the industry and save lives): http://www.abbyjohnson.org/
