My Successful Homebirth Experience

What exactly is a homebirth, how does one have a successful homebirth, and is it scary? Jason and I always joked our next birthing experience would be a homebirth since our first was almost born in the car and he caught the second one by himself.

We weren’t planning on having more children, so it was a concept I never took seriously, but teasingly agreed to. Imagine my surprise, when five years later, a little plus sign told me a homebirth might actually be on the horizon.

My mind quickly shifted back to those three questions. Could we actually swing a successful homebirth? Despite my surprise pregnancy being considered high risk due to being a geriatric (38 years old, really?) and the presence of fibroids, we kept the option open.

After hitting the 20 week mark and a second positive ultrasound, we decided to “jump ship” and find ourselves a midwife. We did encounter a few hiccups, but it’s still one of the best decisions we ever made. If you’re considering a homebirth, I highly recommend it! Here are a few reasons why.

A Relaxed Momma Leads to Successful Homebirth

I’ve given birth to four wonderful children. This last one, by miles, was the most relaxed I ever felt. I simply can’t put into words how calm things were and how it translated into accelerated healing afterwards. Y’all, I was cooking a meal for my in-laws to enjoy with us not even a full three days after giving birth. I felt amazing! There were two main things factoring into my sense of calm.

a great midwife

The biggest factor, was having an experienced midwife we connected with on many levels. She was unflappable and had a vast history of working with an Amish community of women, who often went into childbirth with possibly a couple check ups and no ultrasounds. The midwife also had previous successful homebirths with women of older ages and with fibroids. All that to say, she was used to “operating on the fly”.

Although my OBGYN had given the clear and relayed the fibroids shouldn’t interfere; I would be lying to say it never hovered in the back of my mind. So, we discussed my situation, talked about possible outcomes, and developed plans for different scenarios. There was no rushed feeling of only having twenty minutes with the doctor, or emailing back and forth through portals. Simply face to face conversations with lots of laughter.

Being able to meet in our own home was also a huge plus. No carting kids to Grandma’s house every couple weeks. Instead we got to listen to baby R’s heartbeats as a family from the comfort of our couch. Seeing my children’s faces light up while hearing the chug-chug-chug is something I’ll never forget.

natural remedies options

Although it was never officially diagnosed, I did teeter with gestational diabetes in the second and third trimesters and had UTI’s. My OBGYN was leery of using whole food supplements to help my body regulate and fight, but reluctantly, she let me.

Where I felt stressed out talking with the OBGYN about these things, I felt at complete ease with our midwife. I didn’t have to “convince” her healthy, natural foods have just as much power to heal as chemical cocktails. I was very much aware “a time and place for everything” might mean needing to do things the conventional way, but I always like to try natural remedies first if possible.

There was freedom in knowing I was working with someone who was “fighting” with me and trusted me to know my body and self-adjust when needed. The midwife’s knowledgeable experience, confidence in our plan, and my placing trust in God brought a peace I wasn’t expecting as we looked forward to our successful homebirth.

Ability to Include More Family Members

Since the pandemic was still in full swing, it was not an option to have the older kids with us at the hospital. I didn’t want their first time meeting to be a wave through an exterior window. And although we’ve watched mama cows give birth as a family; I didn’t exactly want them in the room as I delivered either.

A homebirth gave us the option to involve them as much or as little as we wanted. I figured in Laura Ingalls Wilder days, Ma just sent the other kids “outside to play”, so we’d copy them! Q and H hung out downstairs, while I hung out upstairs. They could hear what was going on (hello paper thin farmhouse walls) and came up to check on me every so often. They stayed downstairs during delivery and ran up right afterwards.

I believe Q and H being able to see baby R before she was even cleaned up gave them a reverence for life that’s hard to learn at a young age. They both cried “happy tears” and had such a tender way of looking at and holding her. I’m so incredibly thankful for those moments.

P.S. The kids are always quick to share “mama roared like a bear” when asked what they thought about the experience. It will probably bring family laughter for a while until they have their own kids and understand more.

Empowerment to Achieve Birth Plan

Between God’s help, Jason pressing on my hips, and counting specks on the floor; labor was manageable. I wish I could say it was the smoothest, most uneventful birth ever, but there was one little hiccup towards the end. Other than not getting my “birthing room” painted! Lol

As labor progressed, the midwife and nurse stayed in our bedroom, listening for cues. There were no constant interruptions, checks to see how dilated I was, connected cords, etc., which is what we wanted. We learned a standing/squatting position was most natural. The midwife agreed and was in favor of it. (The hospital was not impressed with this request.)

When I was ready to push, they joined us in the bathroom. Now, I fully expected to push between two to four times and be holding my baby. That’s how all the others went. So, when I had been pushing for over 10-15 minutes, with no advancement, I got worried. And it’s not like they were faint pushes, they were, “I’m gonna set a new deadlift PR kinda pushes”.

After a split second visual exam, the midwife determined baby R’s shoulder was hung up on my hip bone. She quickly worked with the nurse to rearrange how I was standing with Jason’s help ANNNNNND three leg shaking pushes later, R entered the world. A successful homebirth!

I’m so thankful for God’s presence in the room and his blessing. From what I’ve heard from others in the medical field, a situation like that in the hospital would have led to alternate measures. Praise God for his watchful eye over us!

Faster Recovery Time with Successful Homebirth

Being able to clean up in my own home and plop into my own bed was so relaxing. Especially after hearing, “9 pounds, 7 ounces”. Ummm, excuse me? I didn’t know I could grow giants! The midwife and nurse stayed for a few hours. Afterwards, Jason went downstairs to get some food and the kids went to Papa and Grandma’s for a sleepover.

Our rest that night wasn’t interrupted by anything but R’s hungry cries. It was so relaxing and peaceful to be in our own space. The delicious, healing food we had access to certainly helped. As did the whole food supplements to help my body replenish and recover.

The midwife came back the next day, at one week, two weeks, and six weeks to check on things. Again, no traveling anywhere, no arranging child care, just a relaxing visit with a friend at home filled with laughter.

Even with having two other children at home, homeschooling, and having two family businesses; I recovered much faster. Despite being geriatric and having fibroids, I was back out in the garden, making meals, and enjoying every bit of precious baby R.

I feel so fortunate our journey ended with a successful homebirth. God turned a pregnancy shock amidst a health concern (more on that here) into something truly beautiful. For those reading whose journey ended differently, I’m so sorry! I’ve prayed over you while writing this.

And in case you’re wondering if we’d ever do it again, the answer is “Yes, in a heartbeat!” Had I known how peaceful it would be, I would have done it with the older two as well.

If you’re pregnant, or know someone who is, with questions on homebirths, please reach out! It’s not as scary as it seems.