My Teen Birth Mother Story

I never expected to wear the title “Teen Birth Mother”; however, I found myself redefining the term “birth mother” when I realized I was pregnant at fifteen years old. How was someone, who was just a baby herself, supposed to bring another baby into the world?!?

It wasn’t until I was around five months pregnant, that I finally “confessed” I was pregnant while at a doctor’s appointment with my mother. What a jumble of emotions! Relief someone else knew and I didn’t have to keep lying, trepidation at what my parents and others would think, shame for being pregnant in the first place, and fear for what would happen next.

A Bit of Back Story

I was your typical “good girl”, involved in church my entire life, did well with school, hung out with a core group of friends, not overly interested in boys, and spent most of my free time doing various church activities.

It wasn’t until I started receiving a different kind of affection from an older boy that I started to wonder what life outside of “my norm” could provide. Places I didn’t even realize were empty, were suddenly filled up.

The sense of floating on cloud nine, being someone’s sole attention, and feeling more mature, soon led to compromises. Things I previously considered a moot point, because there was no way I would ever need to examine them, poked and prodded in the back of my head and heart.

Ignoring my heavenly Father’s desires became too easy and I fell into a trap that seemed too hard to get out of; let alone trying to understand how I got there in the first place.

The Birth Mother Story

Knowing I would most likely place my child for adoption; we started researching. Suddenly, terms like “birth mother, birth child, adoptive child, adoptive parent” were being thrown around. More tangled emotions!

We connected with an adoption agency and the hard work of pouring over adoptive family profiles began. It was surreal to “shop” for the family that would raise my son. It was even more surreal to schedule interviews with possible “candidates”.

Thankfully, God had a plan for me and My Little Man as I dubbed him. He laid caring, knowledgeable people in my path to make decisions seem less scary, and arranged a wonderful psychologist, who helped me tread water in some of my darkest moments.

An amazing adoptive couple was provided next, and he gave my parents the stamina to be firm when I could not. God was faithful, showed grace, and intervened in ways I did not deserve throughout childbirth, visitation, the court hearing, and ensuing years.

My son and I reconnected in person a few years ago. It has been amazing. While I could not understand events and appreciate God’s intervention as a teen birth mother; I certainly can now.

God’s Story

As a teen, my relationship with God was not as strong as I thought. It was hard to turn to Him, as my shame kept me running away from Him. The sense of belonging in God’s family was no longer present and I felt lost and alone.

Over ten years of bad decisions and turning to anything but God, came to a close after being married and the birth of my second child. I am forever grateful God is able to forgive anything and everything and that he welcomes back each of his children with open arms.

You know what God did for me? He’ll do it for you too! Do not believe the lies that your mistake is too great, that you do not matter, and/or that you don’t deserve what He has to offer. Take those lies and throw ’em in a fire!

Dear friend, if you find yourself in the same position, or know someone who is, please do not lose hope. There are numerous women, who have walked a similar path. You are not alone.

I’m praying for you. God knows the exact situation. He sees. He cares. There IS a way out of what may seem like a dismal situation. I am sorry for your pain, the sense of loss, and feeling of unknown. Reach out! Healing will come, and with it the ability to breathe easy again.

Find more of my birth mother thoughts and experiences here!

Do you have questions and/or want to share your own story? Connect with me here!