What are we (actually) going to do about “it”?

There are always a few extremely debatable topics circulating society at any given moment. They always seem to reach a peak during an election year and bring people together and divide them apart at the same time. They are nothing new, yet the spin on them changes as more information is shared, more research is done, and more people speak out.

Although someone can stay informed on multiple topics, there is usually one that triggers more of the senses. The one ignited by your passion(s), experienced personally, and/or followed more actively than the others. Most likely, it came right to the forefront of your mind as soon as you started reading this.

My Trigger Topic

For me, the topic is abortion. Having been a teen birth mom, I well understand the panic, stress, unknown, and shame of dealing with an unplanned pregnancy. It’s a nerve-racking time to say the least. While it was certainly presented to me as an option, it was not what I chose.

As a Christ follower, I believe in the sanctity of all human life, no matter what stage of conception. This is backed up by God’s teaching in the Bible. Jeremiah 1:5 , Exodus 20:13, Exodus 23:7, Psalm 139:13-16  

Upon discussing some frustrations regarding other’s view on the topic with a dear friend and mentor, she commented something along the line of “what is the church body (or fellow Christ followers) doing about it to change things?”. The notion has been mulling around my head ever since.

It’s an appropriate question. One I didn’t quite know how to answer. If I call myself a Christ follower, shouldn’t I have some sort of inkling? Shouldn’t I be plugged in somewhere to help make a difference and reach out to those I have common ground with? Shouldn’t I be praying daily for women in the same vulnerable position I was 20 years ago? If I am so passionate about the topic of abortion (or the adoption alternative), what am I doing TODAY to make a difference?

My View Points

Based on my own answers to the above questions, my experience as a teen, and my knowledge of church-based programs catering to this topic – I am going to make a very bold statement.

I, along with other Christ followers, and the church body have failed in this area. Here are my personal thoughts why:

~ The subject of abstinence, sex, and pregnancy outside of marriage still seems taboo in church. It’s just not talked about much, if at all.

The only time I heard mention of this in any church, was when I was much younger and an older teen couple facing the same situation went before the church body to publicly apologize. Whether it was their choice or mandated, I don’t know. Having found myself in the same situation several years later, I flashed back to that memory and thought “No Way” am I saying something to anyone and possibly enduring ridicule and ostracism on top of every other emotion and life change I was working through.

To this day, when I share with other Christ-followers that I was a teen birth mom, who was active in the church, I am met with surprise. It’s like there is an unwritten belief those kinds of things don’t happen to church people and when/if it does happen, it’s kept “hush hush”. Afterall, no one likes to share where they fell short.

Sex education is left up to parents and/or school education. The Bible is clear that marriage should be between one man and one woman after a marriage union (Genesis 2:24). From my point of view, there is not much left to try and interpret. So many other foundations from the Bible are taught at a young age, so why not this?

Is it because the church is afraid to step on parent’s toes? Or appear partisan? To speak about a topic because they’ve never really researched how to present it before? Nervous to see how church members would respond? Afraid they might see how rampant the issue already is within their younger generations?

Churches do not create an open and/or inviting environment for someone (especially teens) wondering about sex, questioning why it’s important to wait, trying to figure out what to do if facing an unplanned pregnancy and/or looking for resources. Approaching the leaders, elders, counselors, and pastors is intimidating when the response is unknown. Things are a lot less scary if they are brought into the light instead of being kept in the dark.

~ Adoption as an option (or as a whole) is not talked about enough in church. I’ve listened to countless sermons on following the ten commandments, loving your neighbor, reading through xyz part of the Bible, roles in relationships, communicating, fruits of the Spirit, how to handle anger, justice, etc. But never once have I listened to one regarding the sanctity of life and what that should and could look like.

Sure, members of the church are aware of adoption; especially if they know someone looking to adopt, who was adopted, or who placed a child. Sure, the percentage of people touched by such a sermon may be smaller compared to other topics.

But I recently heard a wonderful speaker and NY Times best-selling Christian author say, “You need to speak to the individual…the crowd doesn’t matter”. So maybe, speaking about this topic to the church family would reach God’s intended individual and spread awareness about needs and places to serve.

~ When Christ-followers do participate in pro-life groups and are outspoken in their beliefs/preach what the Bible says about human life; the actual human requiring assistance doesn’t get any. Instead, it can feel like the agenda and being considered “right” is more important.

This can be a fine line, because we do need to stand up for what God says, but we also need to be humble and loving while doing so. Scrolling through various social media platforms, I do not see much of that happening. It feels more like people shouting at others, refusing to put themselves in someone else’s shoes, losing friendships over differing views, or ignoring the topic all together for fear of back lash.

I highly doubt what I see today is how Jesus would have handled things. Words and actions like love, mercy, forgiveness, compassion, grace, humility, and unity no longer seem to exist. We should be filling in those gaps, not making them bigger.

~ I don’t hear of/see much campaigning for ministries providing care for single parents. I’ve been told being a single parent makes the already hard task of raising children seem lonely and sometimes unsurmountable.

There are church groups for single people, married people, divorced people, widowed people, family people, young people, school-aged people, etc. But what about single parent people? What about people facing life, trying to raise children on their own, who aren’t necessarily looking for a life partner, but just others in the same situation to connect with?

What are we doing to try and provide a haven for those on the fence of aborting or raising the child (most likely themselves)? Perhaps a ministry does exist, but is it regularly advertised or just talked about annually to cross off the box on the checklist?

If there isn’t one, why not start one? Don’t fear a small turn out; connect with other nearby churches if need be. Think it would not be effective because no one has personal experience with those issues? Try again. None of the disciples were formally trained to follow Jesus and share his message before Jesus invited them to help carry out His ministry. They learned as they went.   

Closing Thoughts

Obviously, there will be caveats to any of my reasons. But these were the ones God placed on my heart. They are things I wish were done differently and/or were spoken more about, as I look back at my own experience. They are things I need to work on too.

By no means am I trying to cast judgement on anyone or any church. Jesus loves us all the same; no matter what has happened in the past, where we are today, or choices we may make in in the future. The beauty of God’s salvation is that it’s available to anyone at any time and lasts forever. Psalm 37:39, Psalm 62:2, Isaiah 51:6, Romans 10:9 With that comes an endless supply of God’s forgiveness and the strength of the Holy Spirit to step in where we feel weak or unable.

We cannot change the past, but we can change the future. How the future looks and transpires is up to us. What is your passionate topic(s)?  Do you feel like something more could be done both personally and locally? If so, what are you going to do about it starting today?